Oh, hello! Didn’t see you there — we were too busy admiring this utter wealth of TV news and tidbits we’ve amassed here for your reading enjoyment. That’s right: another day, another installment of the Nerdist TV-Cap. Only we (and well, OK, yeah: pretty much any other entertainment news outlet that covers the tube times but C’MON, let us hyperbolate a bit) would scour the Internet’s vast and expansive swath of words to uncover the best and brightest that might have flown under your radar.

Consider it a kindness: a solid-doing for those of you in need of water cooler and/or cocktail hour conversation. We’re not afraid to be service-y, folks. Not one bit.

So here’s everything you need to know about that’s going on with the wacky world of television today. And before you ask, yes: we’ve even included some of our own favorite stories from the site because we’re total narcissists (but don’t really think that because we just want you to love us)!

Transparent Has a Trailer!: Oh my goodness, we are so excited about this one. Like SO excited. Not only does Transparent have an amazing cast — Jeffrey Tambor, Judith Light (the human not the dog), Gaby Hoffman, Amy Landecker and Jay Duplass — but it was written and created by Jill Soloway who may be doing real, emotional, human intimacy better than anyone else out there right now. Get thee to the pilot which is FREE on Amazon Prime right MEOW:

Hey Television Academy! Maybe it’s time to kick some of your Emmy voters to the curb?

The Colbore Report: Stephen Colbert‘s changing the name of his show to make things easier for Gwen Stefani. How thoughtful! [Deadline]

Listen Up, SleepyHeads: The Bad Cop to this particular writer’s Good Cop, Nerdist’s own Clarke Wolfe has premiered the OFFICIAL Sleepy Hollow podcast and episode one is live right now so CLICK HERE ALREADY, JEEZ!

See Ya on Netflix: Chelsea Handler bid adieu to late night television and ended her reign as the only woman currently in the boys-only club. Love her or hate her she was a gamechanger in that regard. She said goodbye with a ridiculously star-studded parody song routine.

Tony Sopran-Oh!: After years and years of speculation nation running rampant with theories about the very divisive ending of HBO’s The Sopranos, the series’ creator has finally told us the truth: nope, Tony Soprano did not die in that final scene. You happy now? [Vox]

Tycho Nestoris Returns: Hooray! Mark Gatiss, the King of The Fandoms — well, OK, at least Doctor Who and Sherlock and Game of Thrones — will be returning to the latter one in season five. [Entertainment Weekly]

Sherlock Gets Dark: Rachael Berkey’s got the scoop on the darker tone happening in the show’s fourth season.

DJ Nash Is In The House Again: Following a single-season that resulted in a cancellation, Growing Up Fisher‘s showrunner and semi-autobiographical creator DJ Nash will stick with NBC to create a new series called The Catch: it’s a rom com series about a single guy in NYC. Hey wait, I feel like I’ve heard of this before… *falls over blue trombone* oh weird, how’d that get there? [The Hollywood Reporter]

And In ‘Jon Stewart Is The Best’ News: Well, look: The Daily Show is back! And so, too, were the host’s long-awaited thoughts on Ferguson since his two week hiatus. This video pretty much says it all:

Rivers Cuomo Goes To College On TV: If you’d told me, well, ever that the frontman of Weezer would be selling a television comedy about that time he quit music for a bit and went to Harvard I wouldn’t have believed you but here we are, folks. [Deadline]

Breaking Bad Is Over, For Real, You Guys: Those rumors about a sixth season Breaking Bad? LIES, you guys! LIES! Now stop asking. [Gawker]

So — how upset are you about this Breaking Bad business? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.