Oh, hey there, TV fanatics. I didn’t see you there. Is it Monday already? Since we’re stuck melting in the fiery hellpit that is currently Los Angeles, I thought I’d distract myself from the heat by rounding up the best and brightest of today’s TV news! Today we’ve got even more teasers for American Horror Story: Freak Show (is it October 8 yet?!), some American Horror Story scoop courtesy of Ryan Murphy , our handy guide to the ten Arrow episodes to watch before season three, and a glorious dose of Frozen karaoke courtesy of Kristen Wiig and Ellen Degeneres. Just think of this as an ice cold drink in the midst of a burning desert wasteland. No, it’s not a mirage. It’s a TV-Cap.
“Kids Don’t Know What Fractals Are.” You’ve likely seen Kristen Wiig perform karaoke on Ellen before, and each time is more wondrous than the last. The SNL and Bridesmaids comedienne swung by to say hi to Ellen, promote her stellar new dramedy with Bill Hader, The Skeleton Twins, and, you know, sing “Let It Go.” She and Ellen both claim they don’t know the words to the song, which I think is IMPOSSIBLE but it’s also pretty cute so you should probably watch it:
Feast Your Eyes! TVLine has a double dose of photos from Julie Plec’s sultry supernatural shows The Vampire Diaries and The Originals for your viewing pleasure. There be spoilers in these photos, so beware! Also, I keep forgetting that Alaric is back! Not gonna lie, preeeetty excited about that: [TV Line 1, 2]
The Return of Schmidt’s Terrible Advice. Doo-wop! New Girl returns tomorrow night, and there’s a brand new clip about gettin’ laid to get you pumped for the gang’s new shenanigans. We’ll let Schmidt do the talking: [TheWrap]
OITNGG? Some genius combined the ladies of Litchfield with the Golden Girls theme, and the result is utter perfection: [Nerdist]
Sassy Star Wars. We’ve got another look at Star Wars Rebel‘s The Inquisitor, voiced by the incomparable Jason Isaacs, and boy, is he saucy. He’s also got spiky teeth and a spinning dual lightsaber, so you know he’s really evil. Watch the clip right here: [ScreenRant]
No Time for Binge, Dr. Jones! For those of you who have free time on their hands, I salute. What’s that like? For the rest of us who come home too pooped to do anything after making/ordering/microwaving dinner, Nerdist’s own Joseph McCabe has the Arrow guide for you. He highlights the key episodes to watch before the truly great comic book story returns on October 8 if you want to catch up without forfeiting sleep to binge-watch the whole thing (though we highly recommend it). Plus, now that Netflix has pushed its Arrow season two streaming release to just a day before the premiere, you might not have time to watch it all, anyway. [Nerdist]
AHS: Where the Dead Stay Dead. Last season of American Horror Story was fun and all (mostly due to its killer cast and this serious gem) but the show loses a lot of its mystique when all of its dead characters can come back to life. What’s at stake if you can just perform a little black magic? Well, that all changes this year, according to Ryan Murphy. “This season, once you die, you’re dead.” [EW]
Also, please enjoy this new American Horror Story: Freak Show teaser, because creepy carnival:
