Earlier this week, we shared some culinary inspiration for a Game of Thrones viewing party, and while each recipe was impressive and picturesque, we have to admit: not everyone is as skilled in the kitchen! (If, perchance, you are, show me your creations and/or teach me your ways.)

Take me, for example. I love to cook, but any sort of decorative baking usually sends me into a deep shame spiral. And when you invite guests over — say, to watch all your hopes and dreams dashed to the ground as more of your favorite characters are killed, maimed, or betrayed — it can ease a lot of stress to keep things simple and plan ahead.

And so, without further ado, here’s a Game of Thrones-inspired menu that practically anyone can tackle. If you play the game of thrones, you win or you die — or you finish cooking everything right on schedule and have time for a pre-finale drink before your guests arrive.

 

Onion Knight Dip
(serves ~12)

You’ll need: 2 lbs large onions (thinly sliced), 2-3 tbsp olive oil, 1 tbsp sugar, 2 cups sour cream, 1/4 cup cream cheese, 2 tsp onion powder, and potato chips.

Assemble: Heat olive oil over medium heat in a large skillet and add sliced onions. Cook for about 10-15 minutes, then sprinkle with sugar and stir to coat. Continue cooking over medium heat for another 30-40 minutes, stirring often. Your onions should turn a nice golden brown by the time they’re done. Check out this more in-depth caramelizing tutorial here. Let the onions cool, then chop them up a bit and add to a large bowl. Stir in sour cream, cream cheese, and onion powder. Give it a little taste, adjust the seasonings to your personal preference, and keep chilled in the fridge (covered) until you’re ready to nosh with your guests.

Plan ahead: You can make this up to 3 days in advance and keep, covered, in the fridge. You can also just buy your favorite onion dip if you don’t feel like caramelizing the onions, but trust me: like Ser Davos learning how to read, it’s totally worth the effort.

Dragon Deviled Eggs
(serves 12)

You’ll need: 12 hard-boiled eggs, 3 tbsp mayo, 1 tbsp Dijon mustard, 1 tsp horseradish, paprika, and salt and pepper.

Assemble: Slice hard-boiled eggs in half and gently scoop out the yolks and add to a medium bowl. Add mayo, mustard, and horseradish, and whisk together until you’ve got a smooth filling. (If you have a mixer handy, feel free to use that little number.) Season with salt and pepper and make sure the yolk mixture is at your desired level of spiciness, then spoon back into the egg halves. Dust with paprika, and serve.

Prep ahead: These honestly don’t take that long, and they sit fine in the fridge for a day. Oh, and these are dragon deviled eggs because they’ve got a bit of a kick to them. If you’re feeling extra ferocious, try my jalapeño bacon or sriracha deviled eggs.

Littlefinger Foods
(serves 12)

You’ll need: 1 can Pillsbury crescent rolls, one 14-oz packages of cocktail weenies, baking spray, and a baking sheet.

Assemble: Spray your baking sheet and preheat the oven to 375ËšF. The crescent rolls are pre-cut into triangles, but we need smaller bits of dough. Using a pizza cutter or knife, cut each pre-cut triangle into three smaller triangles. Take a mini hot dog, wrap it in dough, and set on the baking dish. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until the Littlefinger foods (I’m obviously extremely proud of that one) are golden brown.

Prep ahead: You can prepare these the morning of and store in the fridge. Pop them in the oven right when your friends arrive and serve them just as the show’s about to start!

Sansa’s Favorite Lemon Cakes

I recommend heading over to Noshing with the Nolands for the full recipe for this one, since these lemon cakes are probably the most work. And by work, I basically mean mixing. As long as you keep an eye on these, they should be fairly straightforward. If you don’t have a mini bundt pan laying around, make some glazed muffins! No matter what shape they take, these lemon cakes will win the hearts of all your friends… so much so they might be willing to shove someone out a moon door for you. Just sayin’.

Prep ahead: You can make these 1-3 days in advance. Store at room temperature.

Definitely Not Poison Wine Sangria
serves 4-6

You’ll need: 1 bottle of wine (or a bottle of sparkling water if you want to skip the booze), 1 cup fresh orange juice, 1 lime, 1 orange, 1 lemon, 1 apple, 1/4 cup sugar, and 1/4 cup brandy (optional).

Assemble: Combine orange juice, sugar, and brandy in a large pitcher. Slice up all the fruit and add to the mix. Gently mash the fruit to get all the good juices flowing. Add wine, stir, and cover. Refrigerate for at least 8 hours, or up to 48 hours.

Prep ahead: See above: you can prep this up to 48 hours in advance. The longer it sits, the less you’ll taste the poison… err, I mean, the more delicious it’ll be.

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Are you planning your own Game of Thrones soiree? Will you be terrifying your guests with some pigeon pie? Share your recipes with me on Twitter or Instagram, or let us know your diabolical dinner plans in the comments below!