You know, it’s been awhile, Broad City. Some might even say too long — though those people are mostly just impatient and impervious to reason — but now that you’re back, you’ve got some explaining to do. Namely: do you even know what you’ve done?

That’s right, you heard me. I didn’t stutter: you’ve ruined us for other comedies, Abbi and Ilana. RU-INED. As in, everything else pales in comparison and now here we are, forced to live in a post-Broad City world without nearly enough Broad EFFING City to satiate our needs? Yeah, that sort of stuff. I mean, c’mon: JANUARY? We have to wait until January? What Comedy Central giveth, Comedy Central taketh awayeth, it seems. So we got a taste of the good life and what we were missing, but — oh wait! — that was but a taste. Like a dealer to a junkie, you are, CC.

And what in the Seth Rogen (oh man, Seth Rogen’s going to guest star on Broad City, you guys!) are we supposed to do now? How are we supposed to get through the holidays, putting on all that happiness and “goodwill towards man” or whatever when our lives, sans Broad City, are just a little bit grayer? HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DEAL? Do you even REALIZE how many days away January is?! Sure, we could get some perspective, considering we’ve lasted this long without it, but now we know it’s out there and nearly ready and we can’t have it right this second and that’s more than we can take at this point.

You can’t tease us like this. It’s unfair. It’s mean. Particularly when you know we are but humble servants to your haha-times.

How are you going to deal with the wait for more Broad City? Suggest coping tips in the comments.

Image: Comedy Central