Noted Star Wars fan and comedian Patton Oswalt has made a career out of explaining things in wonderful and funny metaphors, so you just knew he’d have a good one for the Star Wars movies.

Oswalt explained to Conan O’Brien, in the way only Oswalt can, that the Star Wars films look a lot like the path of a man that went through very different phases in his life.

“Here’s what happened with Star Wars, okay? Star Wars, Episodes 4, 5, and 6,” he said, “Those were your 1970s, drinking, snorting coke buddies. You got together, had fun, you got hookers together. They were great.”

Okay…interesting. Go on.

“Then, they sobered up, started getting into, like, government and how does congress work? They got a little libertarian on you, started lecturing you about, ‘Well, you know there’s actually these midi-chlorians and I’m trying to eat healthier.’”

That’s not the meanest description I’ve ever heard about the prequels. So if the original trilogy was the hedonistic exuberance of youth, and the prequels were the straight-laced turn of adulthood, what about The Force Awakens, which is way more like the original films?

“And now, it’s like they’ve gone through an ugly divorce, and they’re like, ‘Let’s get coke and go drinking again, man.’”

Hopefully this doesn’t mean we’re going to wake up after Episode IX with a lot of regrets.

If you’ve never seen Oswalt’s Star Wars filibuster from Parks and Rec, check it out. If you’ve seen it before you already clicked it.

That movie would make 11 billion dollars.

What’s your favorite Patton Oswalt bit? Share it in the comments section below.

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Image: TBS/YouTube