We swear this is real: Sir Patrick Stewart and Silicon Valley‘s Thomas Middleditch are currently engaged in a trash-talking, silly-memes-spewing Instagram battle, and it is a reminder that sometimes the Internet can be the dumbest, best thing ever.

Reddit user soulexpectation noticed that Stewart had inexplicably and seemingly out of nowhere made fun of Middleitch on his Instagram page.

Middlebitch @tombini –when you’re finished with the cars, do go round to the stables and look in on the horses. You know how Mistress loves her apples, Dagworth Maestro needs grooming, and Willie West has the shits, so be sure to give his undercarriage some extra care. I’ll take my tea at precisely two in the rose garden.

A post shared by Patrick Stewart 💩 (@sirpatstew) on Sep 6, 2017 at 2:57am PDT

Stewart then posted another funny photo. (Make sure you are reading Stewart’s captions, because they are even better than the pictures.)

Middlebitch @tombini: Tommy, tonight’s pizza was your best yet. As I’ve shown you, it really is all in the hand-tossing. My guests were delighted by the “Pizza 🍕Party🎉”! The only grave misstep was your unkempt armhair. It was truly unsightly-@bryancranston was aghast and took ill. In the future, I require long sleeves during service, or you’re also welcome to see our aesthetician at my expense.

A post shared by Patrick Stewart 💩 (@sirpatstew) on Sep 6, 2017 at 12:28pm PDT

That second post got a response from Middleditch, who shared this Captain Picard ditty.

A post shared by Thomas Middleditch (@tombini) on Sep 6, 2017 at 1:45pm PDT

Then things got really good.

Middlebitch @tombini-I find your scouring technique much improved as of late. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve seen the Carrara floors in the entry parlour shine brighter. But, I’m afraid your personal quarters are in dire need of a good and thorough cleansing. I passed by there en route to my wine cellars for a ’79 Margaux and couldn’t help but notice your room smelled distinctly of fart.

A post shared by Patrick Stewart 💩 (@sirpatstew) on Sep 6, 2017 at 2:33pm PDT

That required Middleditch to really up his game, and oh man did he do that.

Of course I don’t mind helping round the house, guvna. Poor bugger, you’re almost on your way out now. Won’t be long, sir. Chin up. I’ll fetch you some tea. @sirpatstew #ialsoknowhowtophotoshop

A post shared by Thomas Middleditch (@tombini) on Sep 6, 2017 at 5:09pm PDT

Amazing. I hope they do this for the rest of their lives.

But why are they doing it? How in the world did these two people end up making fun of one another on Instagram? It’s because they’re actually very good friends, as Reddit user runrudyrun noted Middleditch talked about in this Hot Ones video (starting at 7:19).

THAT MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER.

Wait, does that mean this battle goes back even further?

YUP!

P-Stew thinks he’s all that? Well NOT ANYMORE. Line in the sand, DRAWN. @sirpatstew

A post shared by Thomas Middleditch (@tombini) on Aug 22, 2017 at 1:50pm PDT

Middlebitch @tombini : The ONLY line in the sand YOU’VE drawn is the one that dribbled down your leg as I chased you off my beach.

A post shared by Patrick Stewart 💩 (@sirpatstew) on Sep 1, 2017 at 6:42am PDT

Shots. Fired. SIR. @sirpatstew

A post shared by Thomas Middleditch (@tombini) on Sep 1, 2017 at 9:14am PDT

You know, sometimes the internet really is the best, usually at its dumbest.

But you know what’s always the best and never dumb? Friendship. And making fun of your friends. That’s the best too. The dumber the better.

Who is currently winning this Instagram battle? Tell us who you got in the comments below.

Featured Image: HBO