THIS RECAP GIVES SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 9 OF ORPHAN BLACK SEASON TWO: “THINGS WHICH HAVE NEVER YET BEEN DONE.”

I think, given the intensity of last week and this week’s episodes, the days of the clone club diaries are over. Things are changing, mysteries evolving, and the stench of a potentially imminent death is upon us. I mean for goodness sakes, next week is the finale. Already! With the deception and trickery that’s on hand in Orphan Black as of late, the time for serious dissection is now.

Of course… if it were up to us, this episode would’ve been titled “The One Where They Reveal That Donnie is Everyone’s New Favorite.” Because, I mean…obviously. Hello Donnie and welcome to your life! We’re fairly certain Alison wasn’t the only one who was super turned on by this turn of character. But as much time as we could spend gushing over the newly reunited Hendrixes — Nothing like a little bit of accidental homicide to bring the romance back to a suffering relationship! It’s like the sequel to Blood Ties — there was a lot drama to go around tonight. Particularly in relation to Kira.

So let’s start there, shall we? Oh Kira. Poor, poor Kira. First she underwent bone marrow surgery to save Cosima, and then she was stolen away by a seriously baby-crazy Rachel Duncan-as-Sarah Manning. Oh what a deliciously devlish deception that was. Although, really, Delphine at this point really should’ve known better than to think Rachel Duncan would accidentally do anything. You’re the new interim director of the DYAD, girl: c’mon you know how this dog and pony show works!

Control, ownership, and authority in relation to humans (particularly women, because obviously) is always a rich playing field for this show. And though they all love the clones, Kira is, essentially, a new species. Half-human, half-clone. So of course everyone’s trying to rule over her: if it isn’t Mrs. S it’s the DYAD. And now it’s Rachel personally! I’m sure the Proletheans would just loooove to get their hands on her, too. (Well, if any of them are still alive, that is.) Because who needs autonomy, right? Not kids — and certainly not part-clone ones. Sarah’s parenting, for all the absenteeism of the past, does well enough to allow Kira to make her own choices and be her own person. (No doubt a big deal for her mom these days.) It’s just too bad that despite that, the conspiracy still rages on.

Which: speaking of conspiracies! Let’s talk about the army ghosts, which now include Mark the Prolethean amongst their members. So that makes Paul, Sammy, possibly/maybe Donnie, and Mark are these so-called ghosts. Are they part of some ghost army? Some “recruited” experiment members who were actually planted there by the government all along? Sure seems that way — though I’m a wee bit scared as to what that might mean for the sestrahood.

We actually had a lot of questions come up during this episode, though one in particular was most pressing: are all the Proletheans dead? What about the children?! Helena’s takedown on Henrik was one of the more satisfying moments of the season; to see her finally put together his creepy, fucked up egomaniacal obsession with fathering the future. And who saw Helena and Grace becoming chummy by the end of all of this, eh? That will hopefully work to the Clone Club’s advantage later on, what with Helena’s babies growing inside of her. No doubt next season we will see more of Gracie, as she’s essentially become a target/asset for anyone invested in this project. Whether or not her being in Mark’s protection is a good thing has yet to be seen.

It was hard to watch Henrik treating his own daughter as a brood-fucking-mare. But it should be because some days that’s honestly how it feels like society treats women. For those of you in need of a wee equine lesson: the sole purpose of a broodmare is to breed with “worthwhile” studs. They are treated as horsey baby factories and nothing more. Just like women because what else are they good for, yannow?!

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Theories, Thoughts, and Things:
– Oh hey there Ms. Clone Double Kathryn Alexandre! (She played the midwife.)
– Helena sort of killed it on the quotation front tonight: “What is cervix?” “Those are my babies?”
– Although the Hendrixes CLEARLY WIN THE NIGHT.
– “Have you ever seen ‘Dexter’?”
– “There’s eleven, esé!” (Donnie’s literally the best)
– “Have a shitty day!”
– Although, Alison: Did you mean Guadalajara (not Guadalupe)?
– Vic actually posing and throwing up deuces for Donnie’s photo was pretty fantastic.
– We did learn a bit more about what has been causing Cosima’s illness thus far: Susan Duncan had distilled an autoimmune condition in order to keep the uterine cells from maturing and developing.
– And to think they were surprised that something went wrong!
– WE ALSO HAVE MANY QUESTIONS:
– Who is Mr. Funt? Also is that how you spell that?
– What is JOB-SCI (also is that how you spell that?) Are they Marian’s bosses?
– Who was that Dr. Whelan Rachel was on the phone with?
– Sidenote: it is SO beyond unsettling to see Rachel laugh and smile (or feel anything other than disdain, really).

What’d you think of tonight’s episode? Ready for the finale next week? Let’s discuss it in the comments.