OH SHIT YOU GUYS: Dr. Aldous Leekie is dead! The seeming hijacker of the experiment that brought Orphan Black to life got a bullet to the brain by accident, courtesy of one very angry Donnie. (Which: what a relief to see him actually understand his actions.) And just when — of course — we’ve finally started to feel like maybe he isn’t such a bad guy. Particularly now that we’ve met the woman really pulling the strings, Rachel Duncan’s boss Marian Bowles (oh hai, Admiral Cain).

This week the clone diaries are slightly different. With Helena off reuniting with her “children,” we’re left with no choice but to add Rachel to the mix. But considering the fact that she just met her father and sent Leekie off to die, we’re certain that she’ll have p-l-e-n-t-y to say in her debut to the clone diaries. Welcome to the trip, Ms. Duncan! So, without further ado…

Rachel
I’m fairly satisfied with the way Paul has aligned himself within the DYAD at present. It’s a relief to have a monitor I can control (and clearly has no apprehension to sex on the job). He also aided in facilitating a meeting between myself and Ethan. My father.

Now, no one would ever accuse me of being a very emotional person, but at that moment I have to admit, I was overwhelmed with a flood of feelings. Happiness, gratitude, fondness, and very logically some love, as well. All those moments from my childhood, all those memories from the tapes all came rushing towards me in booming technicolor. It took all my strength to keep composure. Though that was lost instantly at the revelation that it was, in fact, Aldous who’d had my mother killed. That was all I needed to know in order to formulate my next move.

With any luck he’ll be dead by the time he reaches Main Street. That would be quite good.

Cosima
To say I’m pissed is a fucking understatement. I just… I’m so mad. I’m beyond mad. I’m so angry I’m fucking livid. I feel so betrayed. It’s bad enough I already felt betrayed by my own damn biology, but to know it was at the hand of Leekie, and Delphine knew it. Fuck. The audacity of the tone she took with me. “There is no decision. You have one way forward and this is it!” As if stealing from Kira without my permission, or Sarah’s permission, was okay. As if going against such stringent scientific ethics in the name of experimental treatment for me somehow made it better.

Calling Sarah to tell her was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I’m so relieved I did it. I don’t know what’s going to happen from here on out, but I’ll be damned if every move I make isn’t explicitly MY decision.

Alison
Oh my goodness do I feel a relief today that I have never felt in maybe my entire life. Is this what it is to be clear? To be unburdened? Sure, OK, fine: being sober might help a little bit, I’ll give rehab that much, but I am one to suspect that this is largely the work of finally — finally — confronting Donnie and what he did and did not know about his monitoring. I’m still shaking, I have to admit! I was shocked by the way I yelled at him! Absolutely flabberghasted. It was such a rush, such a feeling of power. You know? It almost made me understand the hoodlum nature of people like Sarah and Felix and Vic. Almost.

Sarah
You know — today was a new day for Alison Hendrix, even if being involved in the whole business was a clusterfuck of the highest order for me. But I couldn’t be gladder to have seen it all unfold. FINALLY. She stood up to Donnie, she said her peace, and she’s getting help. I really think this might be a turnaround for her. Maybe make her less of a loose cannon.

Speaking of which: Ethan Duncan, man. What a nutjob. I don’t know what I’d of done without Cal. Part of me really wanted to take him up on his offer to run to Iceland. If only it could be that easy. I can’t believe they found his location (and honestly don’t try to tell me that camera turning on shite isn’t everyone on the planet’s worst nightmare, eh?). Thank christ he’s smart — I’m so thankful that he took such good care of Kira.

Kira — that little bugger. Her kindness and desire to help — going so far as to bloody hurt herself in the process — is mind-bogglin,’ yeah? The love she has for other people, for all of us clones, in spite of everything, blows my mind every single day. I have NO idea where she came from some days. She astounds me all the time; I’m so lucky to be her mum. I only hope we’re doin’ the right thing, bringing her back into town and so close to the DYAD. We’re on perilous ground now, huh?

That reminds me: I should really call Art and figure out what’s up with Helena. I’m sort of relieved that she’s in jail, to be honest.

—
Theories, Thoughts, and Things
– First thing’s first: WHERE IN THE HELL CAN I GET MARIAN’S COAT? It is perfection.
– She has it out for Sarah Manning though, and for that reason alone I am not OK with her.
– Thought: Cal totally knows Sarah’s a clone at this point. Right?
– He’s a smart dude and that moment by the docks felt like he was totally testing her.
– Vic wanting Sarah back: haha, oh man. Also I still believe he and Alison are going to hook-up.
– Sarah as Alison in rehab was too good. That speech. “Pills poppers, boozehounds.”
– “And I’m being Alison being Donnie?” Oh, you writers.
– Everything about that was seriously gold. Tatiana really nailed that whole situation on such a stupid-good level.
– Donnie is clearly still lying about some things, though (unless Leekie had a cleft palate at one point?), as he freely admitted to the probing and Leekie’s role in recruiting him.
– Now it seems Donnie and Alison are sorta perfect for each other, no? Two accidental murderers, on the run from their wicked ways!
– WHAT’S GOING ON WITH HELENA?!
– Anyone else FREAKING OUT over that very bloody, seizure-y mess Cosima’s in? OH MY GOSH WE’RE SO NERVOUS AND SCARED.

Let’s all discuss this walloper of an episode in the comments.