Joy to the world, there’s another holiday-themed television video on the Internet, folks! This time it comes from the lovely ladies of Litchfield — otherwise known as the inmates of the Litchfield Correctional Facility. It’s the twelve days of Christmas, Orange is the New Black style.
On Thursday, Netflix uploaded the little holiday trinket to their YouTube channel, the video — titled “Orange Is the New Black – Holidays At Litchfield” — featured a lot of the show’s cast singing a far more criminal rendition of “The 12 Days of Christmas” than any one we’ve previously encountered before. So what does one get on the 12 days of Christmas at a women’s prison?
– 12 smokes for smoking
– 11 Pipers piping
– 10 bitches cutting
– 9 ladies dancing
– 8 snitches snitching
– 7 pies are throwing
– 6 inmates laying (with each other. Having sex. OK you probably got that, huh?)
– 5 rounded things!
– 4 stalking girls
– 3 ice cream cones
– 2 yogurt cups
– …and a chicken in the yard
Yup: sounds like a very prisontastic little holiday — although we have a few more suggestions of things to add to the list. Where was the toilet hooch? The stolen books? The makeshift shower supplies? The hidey-hole for contraband from the outside world? Like, there’s gotta be at least 3 Larrys lying (to NPR), maybe 2 pizza pies, and a van running over ol’ Vee (say it like it’s in the song)!
What would your 12 days of Christmas at Litchfield prison look like? If you were writing the song, what would you say, eh? Let us know your versions in the comments.
