When you were yachting this weekend off the coast of Miami in your $40,000 diamond-studded bikini, sipping Cristal champagne, weren’t you hoping for more? Sure, it’s fun to burn stacks of cash to toast gold-leaf-covered marshmallows (no really, they make those) over, but where’s the excitement? How are you supposed to impress your rivals fellow yachters as they pass by? Fear not, my wealthy friends! We’ve got you covered! Now, for the mere pittance of $459, you can have your very own champagne gun!

“The world’s first champagne gun” comes to us from a French company called Extra-Night, and Jeremy Touitou, the U.S. distributor has brought it to Miami. Touitou runs a “nightlife supplies” company, whatever that is, and began his career as the “King of Sparklers” (not making this stuff up) — he sold sparklers that clubs attach to champagne bottles for their VIP guests. He claims that his clients sell up to 30% more champagne that way.

Now he’s giving them the champagne gun. “Shoot bubbles, not bullets,” is his motto. It only shoots the bubbly from magnum bottles, of course. Now, you can spray Muffy over on the neighboring yacht, up to 23 feet away. Silly Muffy. Hope she slips in all that champagne and breaks the heels on her Manolo Blahniks. They’re from last season anyway.

In case you just want to, I don’t know, drink the stuff, there is a special attachment so you can pour it. Excellent for maximum douche-iness. Mess up Muffy and toast her as she falls into the ocean. Just watch the video. Not only are they spraying the stuff around clubs, but a shirtless guy in a gold chain sprays it into a pool and right at his own face.

Tweet me/us @JennaBusch/@Nerdist and groan along with us. If you purchase one from ChampagneGun.com, please tell us.

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HT: Miami New Times
Image credit: Champagne Gun