What happens when red-eyed albino sharks swarm the New Jersey Shore during Fourth of July weekend? This Saturday (June 9th) at 9:00 pm, the Syfy network will premiere Jersey Shore Shark Attack and answer your pressing questions.  This parody is actually based on real events that took place at the Jersey Shore in 1916, when sharks attacked the beach during the week of Fourth of July and killed four people.  I spent enough of my youth at the Jersey Shore to confirm it’s filled with spiky hair, tanned muscles, bikini clad girls, and lots of debauchery.  You can almost think of this as a documentary.

My close friends Jeremy Luke and Joey Russo are the leads in this movie as “The Complication” and “Donnie,” and they sure can play the part of tanned and stupid.  I had the opportunity to watch a screening of Jersey Shore Shark Attack, and can honestly say that whether you hate the “Jersey Shore” culture or love it, you should get a kick out of this movie.  Guidos will be eaten, girls will be screaming in danger, and every Italian-American actor you’ve seen in a Mafia movie will make an appearance.  If you don’t believe me, BuzzFeed put together 15 reasons why this will be the best movie of the summer.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Danny beat me to this, but I was gonna post it, too, because I just happen to be at the Jersey Shore at the moment and because my friend Eric Johnson at my old radio staiton New Jersey 101.5 (“Not New York! Not Philadelphia!”) thought I’d be interested. Why, yes, yes, I am…)