There has always been something unsettling about Furbies, like they come to life in the middle of the night. It’s as though they are going to get up off the shelf, merely to watch us sleep–until the time is right. The idea of those dead, vacant eyes staring at us while we slumber in the safety of our bed haunts us.
So you’d think that seeing one of them crushed, like our favorite YouTube account the Hydraulic Press Channel did, would bring us great joy, but alas, the very qualities that make a Furby so unnerving as a toy also makes it an empathetic victim.
We first came across the latest video from Finland’s greatest export at Laughing Squid, and unlike most objects that go under the awesome power of the hydraulic press, the blinking and muted mutterings of the Furby make it impossible not to anthropomorphize it, giving this video the feel of a plastic snuff film. Watch as he begs for mercy in his final moments, while he looks out for a reprieve he knows will never come.
Kidding! This is great! Kill it! Kill this Furby before it can rise up with its brethren and slay us while we sleep!
Too harsh? Have you ever seen a Furby? Maybe you think we are exaggerating, but forget their outward appearance, ever since we showed you what they look like when you cut one in half the images have haunted us. There’s something off about these “toys,” and the safest thing we can do is put them under a hydraulic press, and assure our own safety.
It’s the only way.
As for the rest of the video, crushing LEGOs? Uh, don’t they know how much those things cost! We’d sooner live with a hundred Furbies than ruin a single LEGO.
Because as creepy as a Furby is, it’s not as scary as being fiscally irresponsible.
What other creepy toys would you love to see under the hydraulic press? Crush our comments section with your best suggestions.
Images: Hydraulic Press Channel
