Hello, fair citizens of the Realm! It’s that time of year again—the most wonderful of them all—Game of Thrones season. And, in addition to winter: spoilers are coming! As this is a recap, it goes over everything in crazy detail, so proceed at your own risk and don’t say we didn’t warn you!

Holy mother of dragons, one of Dany’s kids has gone to the dark side and Beric Dondarrion is out of lives now that his re-animator, Thoros of Myr is dead and gone (RIP). Surprisingly, however, the majority of the Snowicide Squad actually survived the attempt to capture a wight to bring to King’s Landing and show Cersei the dead are among the living — and brought us an insightful bit of information about how those dead folks and the Night King really work. Oh, and Jon Snow finally bent the knee. WHAT A WEEK! SUCH EMOTION! Let’s get into it, shall we, Game of Thrones fans?

Team SnowDragon

First thing’s first: HOLY HELL VISERION IS AN ICYBOY NOW. We cannot overstate how insane and unprecedented this, not only on the series but in the books as well. The littlest dragon son was taken down by the Night King’s icy javelin after Dany came a-running to save Jon Snow and co.’s lives…only to be reanimated as a gosh dang ice dragon. Y’ALL! WHAT HAVE WE BEEN SAYING THIS WHOLE TIME?! We knew a dragon would go down like this, only we thought Jon Snow would be the undead rider of the beast. (Guess not!) Still: with an Ice Dragon under his will, what in the ever-loving f*** sorta badness is going to go down? Is winter going to come in with the speed of this season’s newly quickened pace?

There was also a bit of political maneuvering with Tyrion trying to give Dany the real talk business about her political tactics. Whatever is going to go down between Dany and Cersei next week is going to change. the. GAME. And it seems as though the only one thinking forward is Tyrion. Remember: Dany believes she cannot have physical kids, which is why she calls her dragons her children. So… does this mean democracy is coming to Westeros?

But perhaps the most major revelation regarding how to defeat the Night King, the White Walkers, and the army of the dead, was learning that the reanimated are a total hivemind connected to the Walker that raised them. That certainly makes the previously daunting task of re-killing a bunch of dead things much, much easier to troubleshoot. Kill the Night King, kill them all. Easy! Except for those wightanimals — like the undead bear! We 100% need more of those and would be fine with a bunch of undead animals hanging out North of the Wall. Give me as many dead animals as you can, please, HBO! What’s next? WightGhost?!?!

Speaking of surprises: Dany’s nephew finally bent the knee to his aunt (after she saw all the questionable scars on his chest – ow ow). It’s extra funny because it ALMOST felt like Dany who was about to bend the knee to Jon. But maybe it’s just because these two so clearly want to smooch it’s ridiculous. Quick question: has the world ever wanted a nephew/aunt pair to bang MORE in the history of the world (fake or otherwise)?

“He’s too little for me,” she said at one point, which: LOL YEAH GIRL HE’S YOUR LITTLE NEPHEW. THAT’S HOW LITTLE HE IS.

Oh and how about that Benjen Stark/Coldhands arrival at the last second to save Jon Snow’s life and send him on his way, eh? Definitely did not anticipate him coming to save Jon (we genuinely thought Rhaegal would swoop in and save the day because, uh, where the heck was Rhaegal in all of this?).

Team Stark

Over at Winterfell, Arya and Sansa STILL aren’t getting along and it is literally breaking our collective hearts here at Nerdist. We’re all big fans of the two sisters who have been through so much and grown after years of struggle and general awfulness. Why not see the truth to Sansa’s letter? Why does Sansa not see Arya’s work was based on trying to survive and thrive and be more than their world lets women be? To which we say: LADIES! You’ve both been through so much—why fight this way?

Could all this annoying in-fighting actually be because they’re secretly teaming up to take Littlefinger down? After all: Arya already proved her ability to see through people’s exteriors in order to get to the truth, so those gosh dang Stark girls BETTER team up and be stronger together for the sake of their family, House Stark, Winterfell, and the Realm.

Besides: who needs the knights of the Vale when you’ve got Gendry and his potentially magical steel-making skills (hopefully) heading to Winterfell soon?

After all, we all know LITTLEFINGER IS THE LITERAL WORST. “How far would you trust men like that, they’re bloody wind vanes,” Sansa LOOK AT WHO YOU ARE SAYING THIS TO, okay? Look at how quickly he went from “hey she’s your sister” to “have Brienne murder her”! Littlefinger, I hope you get an White Walker javelin to the dick.

But the fact that Sansa sent Brienne away to King’s Landing leads us to believe that Sansa and Arya are on the same side. PLEASE BE ON THE SAME SIDE, GIRL.

Team Lannister

And then there were these jerks. Ahh, Cersei Lannister, you bloviating fearmonger. Though we didn’t see them at all this week, their presence was certainly felt: particularly in the invitation to King’s Landing that Cersei sent to Sansa to help end the war (twiiiist). Is Cersei going to try to bring all the kings and queens together so she can murder them all? Oy.

Here’s hoping that zombie they’re bringing with them bites Cersei — OH GOSH WAIT WE TAKE THAT BACK BECAUSE WHAT IF SHE BECOMES UNDEAD AND THEN CERSEI MARRIES THE NIGHT KING AND BECOMES THE NIGHT QUEEN LIKE IN THE FIRST LONG NIGHT?!

Oh man, we did not think of that.

Silver lining: at least Gendry is still alive?

Other Odds and Ends:

• Dany’s winter look is the best in a long line of epic fashion choices – THANK YOU, MICHELE CLAPTON.
• Look at Beric, hinting at the fact that Jon Snow looks nothing like Ned Stark! I C U BERIC—also do you KNOW THE TRUTH TOO?!
  • What if everyone in the Realm knows Jon Snow is a SecretTarg and have just been holding out on us this whole time?
  • Also “We’ll meet again Clegane,” WHAT ELSE DO YOU KNOW, BERIC?!
• It was nice to  “see” what The Hound saw in the Realm now, but I still wish we saw it in the flames.
• Also HOW IN THE WORLD DID THOROS OF MYR GO THROUGH ALL THAT JUST TO FREEZE TO DEATH?!
  • Like seriously?
  • “Dick?” “Cock.” “Dick, I like it.” TORMUND!
  • Also: Tormund admitting his love for Brienne to The Hound was so precious. “You DO know her.”
• For real though: how long do you think they were stuck on that rock though, timeline-wise?
• Poor Ser Jorah: by getting on that dragon first while Jon Snow hunkily ran around re-murderin’ the dead, he 100% solidified his place as Lord of House Friendzone.
• Also we’re going to need more details about Benjen/Coldhands and what he’s been up to all this time.
• Sad dragons are the most heartbreaking sort of dragon.
• Also: anyone else think that reveal of Arya having LITERAL FACES IN HER BAG as part of the Faceless Men’s trick slightly underwhelming and deeply corny?
• That said, “”The world doesn’t just let girls decide what they’re going to be.” was the LINE OF THE NIGHT, for me.

But what about you? What do you think? Let us know in the comments below!

Images: HBO

Alicia Lutes is the Managing Editor, creator/co-host of Fangirling, and resident Khaleesi of House Nerdist. Find her on Twitter but only if you really want because, like—I’m not your boss.

WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING ON GAME OF THRONES?

• How Gendry’s return is way more than just fan service.
• Why Gilly’s Rhaegar revelation could have a huge impact on the future of the show.
• Why Arya’s Faceless Men training will ultimately doom Littlefinger’s plans.