I was going to write another epic weekend wrapup but I got sick.

I should have seen this coming, because I had to report from a convention this week. I drove up to Vegas, spent two days in close quarters with a bunch of conventioneers, shook hands, got coughed on, drove back through the desert, and started to feel a tickle in the back of my throat. And then it turned into soreness. And then the headaches hit, and the achiness, and now I’m sitting here at the computer ready to pass out. The things I do for Nerdist Nation….

Noodle Stories!

But that’s what happens after every really big convention, whether it’s the NAB Show (this one) or CES or whatever. You go, you come back, you end up sick. In light of my catching the Convention Crud, then, I’ll have to leave the long-winded exegesis of the convention for another time, if I ever get back to it. Leo LaPorte makes a cameo appearance, James Cameron does, too, and Kevin Smith and Adam Carolla almost did. But I’m sick. You want me to prove it? Cough. There, see?

So we’ll dispense with the entertainment and get right to the facts. What happened at Nerdist.com this week? This:

1. Some Brazilian kids, with a lot of help, built the World’s Tallest Lego Tower. I want it. So do you.

2. Becca talked to indie sax king Colin Stetson for an exclusive interview, and alerted you that his new album’s out, so you might want to buy it, like, now.

3. Colin Hanks is hosting a screening of the Bill Hicks documentary with a Q&A session in L.A. on Sunday. If you’re reading this in time, you’ll want to go.

4. Our esteemed Sex Nerdist Sandra introduced you to a sex role-playing game that includes the unlikely role of “Bewitching Bag Lady.” Instead of talking dirty to you, she’ll talk dirty to herself.  (rimshot) (sorry, bad taste) (no, not THAT way… oh, forget it)

5. Patrick Rose’s preview of Skyrim got some conversation going. You gonna buy it or what?

6. Kyle wants to know why monsters and vampires and the like aren’t scary anymore. Really, now, is going from Dracula to Team Edward progress?

7. The podcast version of the Black Dynamite panel hit your ears, and if you haven’t seen the movie and this panel didn’t make you want to run out and see it right away, then we just don’t know you anymore.

8. Matthew Burnside informed us that the U.S. Navy tested a laser to set a ship on fire. Duck! He also made us look at Chicks With Steve Buscemeyes, which will burn itself into your consciousness forever.

9. From the Doctor Who Bureau: Fans sang “Friday” to the cast, which angered some of you; we saw yet more clips from “The Impossible Astronaut“; Snoopy played a Dalek; and Amy and Rory imagined what they’d do with a real time machine.

10. A precocious little girl joined the Dark Side. They didn’t even have to recruit very hard.

11. How can you keep your coffee at just the right temperature? Magic beans made of metal, of course.

12. We heard music made with a Game Boy, and it wasn’t even 8-bit music.

13. It’s Zombie Chris! That’s actually how he used to look when he showed up to do his morning radio show.

14. We went from San Francisco to Paris in two minutes. I can’t even get to Trader Joe’s in two minutes.

15. Anjeanette showed us how classy rich people play beer pong. With Chimay, no doubt.

16. Peter Jackson took us on a tour of the set of The Hobbit.

17. More Green Lantern stuff surfaced.

18. We saw Star Trek: The Next Generation the way it was always meant to be, in a porn trailer. A porn trailer sounds like someplace you might visit in Appalachia. YOU might visit it. I don’t think there’s an adequate dosage of penicillin in existence, myself.

19. Chris, Jonah, and Matt engaged in a Debate for the Ages: Paul Giamatti or Philip Seymour Hoffman? Guys, guys, why the zero-sum game? You can have both.

20. What’s coming up at NerdMelt? Lots. Zombies, comedy, writers and stuff. And Sara Underwood came by to talk to Chris about the place for Attack of the Show. And if you look closely, you can read my name on the screen! Okay, I could read my name on the screen, because I was looking for it.

21. Guess who’s coming to Dallas?

22. Matthew G. bade farewell to No No Knots at the Cincinnati Zoo.

Hey, if you’re in Southern California this weekend, Chris is at the Irvine Improv, with Kumail Nanjiani, and you can get tickets here. It’s actually a good place to see a show — intimate enough, comfortable, and in a shopping center with movie theaters, lots of places to eat, an Apple Store, Nordstrom, and Target, the ultimate suburban OC experience. And Chris.

Me? I’m going to sleep if I can. Gotta rest up for the next convention I’m scheduled to cover, which is in, oh, two weeks.  Seriously.  It’s what I do.

Images: Kleenex, Campbells, Ars Nova, G4