Gather ’round the ol’ human kabob kids, because it’s Christmastime and that can only mean one thing after the 12 days we’ve had thus far: the as-promised, very NFSW-y (language, people) red band trailer—and a second, decidedly more family-friendly green band iteration—for the Deadpool movie has arrived! It’s a holiday miracle! (If holiday miracles were planned in advance and filled with Ryan Reynold’s very messed-up looking face).

After being diagnosed with terminal cancer, Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) has himself a bit of a run-in with a gang of superslave-making bad dudes that turn him into a dermatologist’s worst nightmare with some fancy indestructible properties. What unfolds next is a bit of an origin story as to how our potty-mouthed Merc saddles up to his unwitting superhero status, complete with a bunch of bad guys, a silver-flecked superbro named Colossus (Stefan Kapicic), a not-your-damsel-y girlfriend Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), some Angel Dust (no, not that kind—the character played by Gina Carano), a best bud/comedic hero Weasel (Nerdist podcaster T.J. Miller), and even an explosive angsty teen counterpart, otherwise known as Ellie Phimister, the Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand).

Of course if seeing red is too much for you, try the equally as festive and decidedly less swear-y (but no less Deadpool-y) green band trailer. Y’know, in case there are any elves around with sensitive ears:

Now, is it just me, or are you DYING to see Deadpool have to team up with the likes of Jessica Jones? (OK so maybe I just want to talk about Jessica Jones all the time—so sue me!)

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Image Credit: Marvel

Alicia Lutes is the Managing Editor of The Nerdist. Find her on Twitter (@alicialutes).