The most dangerous animal in the kingdom isn’t a great white shark, or a grizzly bear, or a black mamba snake. It’s the crab. Not because they’ll pinch you, or because they are deadly together, but because they’re the only animals who carry knives. That’s why we always avoid popular crab bars, as well as all dark alleys in Maryland, because a crab don’t give a &^%$. But our fear of getting shivved by a crustacean won’t keep us from playing a new video game based on their fondness for cutlery, because FightCrab looks like the silliest–and best–way to do battle.
We learned about this absurd/amazing new game at Kotaku, and it comes from the independent Japanese developer Nussoft. The goal of the game, also known as Kani no Kenka, is to get your fellow crab enemy on his back. There’s a wide range of ridiculous weapons to choose from, because in addition to knives you can get down and dirty in the deep blue sea with swords, guns, morningstars, or you can engage in some good old-fashioned hand-to-hand combat. Or rather, pincer-to-pincer, except that the pincers are apparently electrified.
Give it to us. Give us all the crab fights. And then give us updates, so we can fight with lightsabers and katanas and blasters and every weapon you can name.
There’s no release date for the game yet, and it’s unknown what platforms it will be available on, but we definitely plan to jump in the second it comes out. And we hope when we’re done playing we look as satisfied as this guy.
What? You think crabs care about lung cancer? We told you, crabs don’t give a &^%$, so don’t even tell them cigarettes are bad for their health. They might stab you.
What weapon would you equip your crab with? Tell us in the comments below.
Featured Image: Nussoft Channel
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