No Jason Voorhees, black cats or triskaidekaphobia here. We laugh in the face of the OTHER Black Friday. Only the commuters in the path of the commander in chief making his way to a Jimmy Kimmel Live! appearance in Hollywood yesterday can truly complain about bad luck.

Today you will enjoy some real mean tweets read by President Obama for our comic relief. You will watch Tom Segura relay the uncensored experience of meeting the larger than life comedian Bruce Bruce on This is Not Happening. AND you will also see Girls‘ Lena Dunham perform acro-yoga like nobody’s business on Letterman. I think I broke something watching that. Get to the clicking!

Comedy Central’s This is Not Happening features real, hard-working comedians telling honest-to-goodness stories that tickle the funnybone. In this clip we meet Tom Segura. The comedian shares how lonely it gets on road and follows up with an exciting encounter he had with comedian Bruce Bruce. It turns out Bruce Bruce has a MAJOR influence on his fans. Also, he has a thing for Andy Griffith. Who knew?

If I say Lena Dunham three times, do all my wishes come true? No? Fine! The star of HBO’s Girls made an appearance on Letterman where she shared her current fitness regime. We learn she in the best shape of her life because she needs to keep up with her parents’ renewed passion for exercise. You be the judge. Is her “inner light” lit?

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Donuts anyone? Nom. Tell us what you think of these videos below.