Recently we came across one of the most bizarre food crossovers ever concocted: the novelty site Archie McPhee‘s mac and cheese-flavored candy canes. That unholy combination of otherwise beloved comfort foods sent us into an existential crisis, because we have no idea who they were made for. What kind of person would eat something so weird and unnatural? But while those had us questioning the meaning of life, an even stranger flavored candy cane from the company isn’t posing any such problem for us, because we know exactly what kind of person would want to eat a clam-flavored candy cane–a total lunatic.

Yeah, “Clamdy Canes” are another very real, very ridiculous Christmastime item available at Archie McPhee ($5.95 for a box of six). “From the personified clam on the package to the clam taste, you’ll wonder how Christmas existed without Clamdy Canes,” they bravely but incorrectly say on the site, though we definitely agree with them when they write “they’re a candy clamity!”[ just maybe not in the way they mean it.

But is there a chance that sugar and clam-flavoring (there’s not any actual clam in them) could actually lead to a surprise pearl of deliciousness? The team at Foodbeast actually tried them after they were sent a box of these grey and white monstrosities when they ordered those mac-and-cheese ones for a taste test. How did they feel when they tried this sweet and sea salty snack? They “instantly regretted” it.

They must not be total lunatics.

Would you eat these? What other weird flavor candy cane would you love to see them try? Let us know in the comments section below.

Images: Archie McPhee