“It” might be there, somewhere, buried deep beneath an unevenly distributed pile of ground beef, pickles, queso sauce, and tortilla. What is “it” though? That would be the reason for Burger King‘s new burger/burrito hybrid, the limited time Whopperito ($2.99), to exist. Unfortunately, when we ate one we couldn’t find it.

Let’s break this down, like a perfectly good Whopper ruined and jammed into a flour tortilla.

Official Description: “The Whopperito is made with flame-grilled 100% beef and seasoned with a special blend of Tex-Mex spices. It is then stuffed with a creamy queso sauce, diced onions, juicy tomatoes, pickles and crisp lettuce all wrapped in a warm flour tortilla.”

Unofficial Description: Something a “not-as-clever-as-he-thinks-he-is” teenager, left alone for the weekend for the first time in his life, came up with using leftovers in the fridge and a lack of understanding about how to season food.

Does It Look Like The Promo Picture: Of course not.

Two bites in. You couldn’t see (or taste) much of the queso sauce.

Taste: Blah. It’s not that it tastes bad, but for something made with Tex-Mex spices you’d expect a lot more kick. And we don’t even mean for normal Tex-Mex fare–this is pretty safe for a mass-produced fast food product.

The meat was okay, but not as tasty as an actual Whopper, which makes it more disappointing than it might be otherwise. The queso sauce was even milder, hardly qualifying as queso-flavored. It really just fills the role of “indeterminate cheese sauce we need so this isn’t dry.”

The middle section all too briefly brought all the elements together.

The pickles and tomatoes were good–the best bites of the whole thing involved them–but strangely it needed way more of each. I can’t believe I am writing this, but this has too much beef in it. Most bites were just tortilla and crumbled hamburger. The queso mostly ended up towards the bottom half as I held it (which didn’t take that long to eat), making each bite inconsistent (though in fairness that goes for most actual burritos too).

I could see the onions in it, but I couldn’t taste them, and while the lettuce didn’t harm the sandwich (it added some much needed texture, actually) it obviously did not add any flavor either.

The queso sauce wasn’t great, but we still needed more of it throughout.

Best Part: The definite highlight and star of the whole thing is the soft flour tortilla, which wouldn’t have been out of place at an authentic Mexican restaurant. There was plenty of it too, creating some nice folds, the kind that give you those great, thick tortilla bites.

Is it Filling?: Yes, which isn’t surprising because it has a ton of protein (29 grams). I didn’t have fries or anything else with it and I was full by the end. That’s why “too much meat” isn’t an awful criticism.

Can I Eat This In My Car?: Not while driving. It requires two hands if you want to guarantee it won’t fall apart (toward the end). Since it comes wrapped like a regular burger you can’t easily fold down the aluminum foil the way you would a normal burrito. Mine came slightly torn when I unwrapped it, but it still held together well, and I didn’t spill much of it while eating. The tortilla abides.

Even though it started like this, somehow it all held together.

Should I Eat This: You might want to try it out of curiosity, and for three bucks you won’t be hungry anymore, which is nice, but you aren’t missing out on much if you pass on this one. It’s not even weird, it’s just kind of stupid. It’s definitely not a burrito–the whole time I felt like it was missing rice and beans–but it’s definitely not a burger, or even all that burger-like because it is crumbled beef and it is spiced differently. It’s just a thing that doesn’t make any sense and can’t stand on its own as something new. If you want to enjoy some empty calories at Burger King (570 calories, 26 grams of fat, and 1110 grams of sodium for this) you are way better off with any of their normal items.

Would I Eat This Drunk?: Yes of course, that’s a ridiculous question.

Final Verdict: Do a Whopper/burrito bang bang instead and don’t bother with the Whopperito. It doesn’t fulfill either craving and it will just leave you confused about why it even exists in the first place.

Have you tried the Whopperito yet? What did you think of it? Tell us in the comments below.

Featured Image: Burger King