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3 Awesome Geek Toys That Won’t Get You Laid

It’s not easy picking up chicks when you’re a geek. Sure, “wanna hold my lightsaber?” might sound like a clever pick-up line at a bar, but when she sees that you were actually talking about the Force FX replica of Luke’s green lightsaber mounted on your wall, she’ll be out of there faster than an easily startled Tusken Raider. And she won’t be back. Definitely not in greater numbers, anyway. These loosely-applicable Star Wars jokes workin’ for ya? Alright, moving on.

Here are three new gadgets/toys/mods from around teh internetz that are totally awesome and will totally not help you win over that cute girl/guy you know.

1.) Real Live Mario Karts!

Tired of pwning your friends on the virtual racetrack? Well, now you can make them feel inferior IRL with these RC Mario Karts. You can even get power-ups that show up on your controller, which you can fire at other karts and cause them to rumble and slow down. Try to control your urges to take your pet turtle and wing it at your friend’s head while you’re racing, though.

[via Engadget]

2.) Diversitile’s Iron Man Nikes

Seriously. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want these. They glow, man. They freakin’ glow. They also come in a War Machine variety, in case red and gold aren’t your colors.

[via Gizmodo]

3.) Augmented Reality Tattoo

Ooh, so close. Tattoo’s are great for getting the girls who like the bad boy, but not the bad boy who geeks out about augmented reality. Anyway, the tattoo itself is a simple barcode which, when viewed by a camera, will display a three-dimensional and animated image…in this case, a flying dragon. I’m assuming you can create the image you want, in which case I would like a dancing Rick Astley, please. Thank you.

Images: Tomy, Diversitile

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  1. Tao says:

    Okay, I love the Mario Kart item, but I’d got to say no to the other two. Though I wonder, could you code it so that the tattoo changed on your whims? So it’d be a different tattoo each time? That might be a bit more fun…

    Still waiting for real 3D tattoos though like Shadowrun

  2. Nate Bear says:

    I like that all three of the items are imaginary items brought into reality.

    I followed temptation just to check out the uToob comment son the vid. Sigh, humans.

    Anyway, the AR tat concept is replete with possibilities. Mind is brewing with al sorta of useless and useful applications for it. I’ll spar you tho.

    @Oshikiru: I was actually walking behind a lady with eyes tattooed to the back of her neck the other day. Creepy as hell

  3. I hope augmented reality tattoos are not a fad of the future. Maybe 20 years from now we can get tattoos that stream movies off of our bodies.

  4. Oshikiru says:

    I’d love to have the palm of one of my hands be a tattoo that’ll show a 3D Chris Hardwick saying “Awesome!” Back of the neck have 3D glowing eyes so I can say “Yes, I do have eyes in the back of my head”, and for the final tattoo which would be on my right arm, have my Warcraft Horde Avatar in 3D shout “FOR THE HORDE” and then show her killing an Alliance Night Elf. lolz.

  5. James says:

    Wow, so now you don’t need drugs to see an imaginary Pegasus coming out of your forearm?

  6. PapaFrita says:

    3) At last, the final victory of GeoCities and MySpace: animated GIFs for real life.